Saturday, November 14, 2009

UNH's SCOPE Kicked Maine's Backside...

The following is an opinion article I wrote after midnight (8hours before an important exam) instead of studying, just because i was so upset UNH booked bo burnham and umaine only got bob saget... i sent it to the student newspaper, i really just did it to rant to someone...

Maine Student Entertainment announced the first real entertainment of the year this month the loveable actor gone raunchy comedian Bob Saget. Believe me when I say that I would have put an exclamation point at the end of that sentence if I was actually legitimately excited. Bob Saget, really Maine? What in the world is Student Entertainment thinking? Sure we all love Bob Saget because most of the student body grew up watching ‘Full House’, I’d even say I learned a majority of my morale family values from Danny Tanner himself... There are a few problems I have with Student Entertainment thinking Bob Saget is a good choice for our entertainment and they stem a bit from my competitive nature. The first problem I have with this is Bob Saget is old. Vice President of Student Entertainment Mehdizadegan said, “Saget will appeal to an older audience”. Read that twice and let it sink in for a moment. Now that’s just so blatant I’m not even going to rip into it right now. Let me take this another direction. Even if Bob Saget’s jokes are raunchy and over the top (which I like) and driven by sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll (and who doesn’t love those three things?), there is the idea that most people who go to see his show likely have parents about the same age as Bob Saget (53). I don’t want to hear jokes about sex, drugs, and rock n roll from my mom or dad, I want to hear it from a peer. Right now you may be thinking ‘Hey, he’s funny so get over it and stop thinking about your parents telling you sex jokes’; now you’re right if you’re thinking this but it’s only because you may not realize what we could have had.
Just a side note: As a competitive college student and having grown up in New Hampshire just 15 minutes from the campus of UNH I’ve taken more criticism and had more one-liner jokes about the state of Maine thrown at me over the past two years by friends, family and all other acquaintances than you could imagine. I’ve answered more ‘So why did you choose Maine?’ questions than you could imagine. I’ve always defended my decision and I still do to this day and will continue to because I love the situation I’m in and I love this campus and this school, however, Student Entertainment really screwed the pooch here and they have me really upset because they let UNH severely outperform them, especially so far this school year. Last year UNH had, Lupe Fiasco and Jimmy Fallon as their notable entertainment while Maine had OAR, Dropkick Murphy’s, and Demetri Martin. With all due respect you could probably call that first year a draw. Lupe Fiasco whether you like the type of music or not is a big act, a very big act, while Jimmy Fallon is a corky comedian, nothing great but not a complete failure. OAR and Dropkick Murphy’s were both solid grade B high energy acts, nothing big like Akon but they held their own while Demetri Martin was an excellent pick-up a young comedian arguably at the top of his game and undoubtedly 100x better than Jimmy Fallon. Now you fast forward to this year and you see Maine brought in Dierks Bentley, known almost exclusively to Mainers, and then the Decemberists (who?) while UNH’s SCOPE bring in Akon for their first act, a great pick-up as Akon is another big act like Lupe Fiasco, like the music or not. Maine counters this with Bob Saget, yeah, Maine just answered an Akon performance with Bob Saget. Just a week or so after Maine announces Bob Saget as our first comedian (note that UNH definitely won the battle of the music groups round, with one man (Akon) beating a band (Decemberists) and single artist (Dierks Bentley)) UNH’s SCOPE answers the call and absolutely, un-relentlessly, ridiculously owns the crap out of us by announcing their first comic act of the year, Bo Burnham. The moment this was announced I received ten texts from different UNH students rubbing it in my face. Ouch. I don’t want to hear about all the reasons with money, our location, our appeal, our audience why we can’t get big acts to come to Maine. I am not in college to be told why I can’t be entertained. I want big shows to be here. We are a college campus comparable in size to UNH and our students deserve better. How can we sit here and continue to see UNH’s SCOPE bring in bigger names and not start to wonder why our Student Entertainment can’t seem to compete?
If there is any and I mean any sense of Black Bear Pride in any part of the Maine Student Entertainment then we should expect to see at least one huge name announced for this year. If nothing else I said made sense, appealed to, or convinces any of you, please just consider the following. Prices for the shows for students (at both schools) range from about $18-$22. Essentially we are looking at what a student is getting for their $20.
If you look at it like this you’ll see why Maine is getting romped on and why I’m upset:
What UNH students can get for $100: Jimmy Fallon, Lupe Fiasco, Guster, Akon, Bo Burnham.
What Maine Students can get for $120: OAR, Dropkick Murphy’s, Demetri Martin, The Decemberists, Dierks Bentley, Bob Saget.

(just an interesting side note that I’m not going into detail about because I’m tired, but in 2007-2008 UNH SCOPE brought in Demetri Martin, Dropkick Murphy’s, Snoop Dogg, Ghostface Killah, and G-Love and Special Sauce) – You can see how that makes us, Maine, posers and is just an insanely awesome line-up of entertainment…

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sunday, October 18, 2009

busy, crap.

I'm so busy with school work ...crap.
Trying to write posts, but there's too much involved to do it right now.
One quick thing to hold some of you over...

quote of the day "this thing I'm squeezing creates a pretty good stream when it shoots out, and when i squeezed it, it accidentally shot to far and got all over my bag"
-This quote comes from one of my housemates, as he squeezed ketchup from a homemade pizza making kit onto his personal pan size pizza, he accidentally shot the ketchup passed the pizza and onto the other bag of ketchup (he was making two pizzas)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Looking ahead

Two posts, maybe combined into one, that actually directly involve Umaine and/or all universities.

Yeah, actual posts that have to do with something other than The New Hampshirite or drunkenness.

They will be about swine flu and some policy ideas the universities should adopt in regards to swine flu and about the maine business school's purpose and an explanation as to why it may be better than Harvard, Yale, and other "top" schools.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Umaine Hockey, UNH Blogger, Live News

I don't know where to start really with what I'm intending to be a short post...

Ahhh right, UMaine hockey, young, but really moving into a year where they should be better than last and actually a bit more exciting with a projection to have a LOT more scoring than last year.

Ahh fuck who am I kidding I don't go to the hockey games because I'd rather watch the Celtics or go to the gym. Fuck me, right?

Doesn't change the fact that I am rooting for Umaine hockey, especially over UNH (unsure no hotdogs) ...yeah, i just said that. What!!
-why am I being so belligerant right now? No, I'm not drinking alcohol, however, I am drunk with emotion because of comments posted by the blogger The New Hampshirite under his post on the upcoming UNH hockey season, regarding OUR Umaine Blackbears...

when i posted this comment, respectively: "Maine will probably whoop UNH's ass this year... just sayin"
he replied with this... (also this is not the first time he has made this comment to me, and it's getting old and unoriginal) : "not gonna happen. mrs. karyia is done making babies, therefor Umaine hockey is nonexistent."

HOW DARE HE. What an asshole. Let's make him eat his words this season. In fact, swallow them whole, I hear he has that ability what with all his practice taking massive cock all the time at Gayhampshire.

(disclaimer: the new hampshirite is not gay and there is nothing wrong with being homosexual)

Let me leave you with this though; because it is beyond amazing: a local New York (go figure) TV news station broadcasted this live... and props to the anchor for coining a great phrase on such a big stage...

"k, I'll do that"

Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Maine Guy is still alive...

Breaking my self discipline just to post this

...but I do it because I know so many of you are worried about me and I want to let you know I'm ok! I haven't killed myself this weekend partying ....yet.

Fo' Real though, I'm busy doing the whole school thing. I'm super focused, super motivated, and at arguably my busiest two weeks of school, so I need to ride it out as long as it lasts. I promise a post sometime by Wednesday that should be extensive.

Also I am now a verified blog on the College Blog Network
...which is an awesome website of college blogs, peep that shit.

I'll leave ya'll with one of my own thoughts from the passed few days so this post isn't completely wasted...

I found myself staring at a girl walking on the sidewalk towards me around noon...she was a 6 or 7 on my 1-10 scale (10 being hot, 1 not) and my standards are mad high (it's bad, I know) well anyway... It was bad, I was grillin' this girl down, straight up undressing her with my eyes... it was so uncalled for.

Then I snapped outta my trance and realized she was doin' the same damn thing to me... I felt naked. So naked. Which is fine because I like being naked. ....just ask The New Hampshirite

So what I learned from that is... you can't spend 100% of your time checkin-out girls because you will miss the times they are checking you out.... btw girls are WAAAAY more discrete and well disciplined in checking out guys than guys are at checkin out girls. This is fact.

Also I realized if I could take my single self back in time to that moment, i would've winked at her or said something ridiculously seductive, yet... subtle. Like "hey, my eyes are up here."

Alright back to my studies in the library up here in North Bumfuck Maine. btw, there's mad pretty girls in here... i wonder if any of them have read this blog... prob. not, they're all reading the UNH blog... traitors.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Friday some UNH kids stopped by...

2 buddies from UNH drove up to visit like I said would be happening.

I can't recall or share much of what I could recall, so I'm just gonna share a few points.

-send one UNH student, and one Umaine student to a mobile by foot... with $12 cash to buy a pack of cigars and they come back with one cigarillo. wtf? (...they tried again 3 hours later and got it right, almost)
-UNH kids suck at beruit
-Maine is cold, especially when you're outside with no clothes on
-things that don't have a lot of 'give' and are generally painful when you hit them; walls, floors, cielings, railings, the ground, doors, tables, chairs, boots, etc...
-...i'm realy sore this morning, everywhere.
-camera's are one of the greatest and at the same time worst inventions ever
-I punched "The New Hampshirite" in the balls, Wicked hard, Direct contact, I don't know why, I am really sorry, and I'm staying the hell away from him in the future...
-Fireworks last night...i don't remember why, but there were fireworks at like 10pm...?
-my roommate is a strong dude, i have one flash of memory of laying on the floor, then being lifted by him and thrown like 20 feet
-huge rolls of paper towels are amazing... especially when they're free
-vodka and rum. do. not. mix.

I don't really feel like writing any more of this, so i'll go search for a few pictures to post but for now i'm done... October 9th a possible future shit show at UNH for me and the Hampshirite... if anyone is interested in meeting up we'll make it happen.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Awesome Tuesday (On a Thursday)

Never did get around to Awesome Tuesday the way I wanted to this week. So I'm doing it today on Thursday...

Where you AT, Bob Saget? QUESTION ANSWERED!!! he's right here in this funny ass clip that simply NEVER GET'S OLD

Where you AT, Umaine Big Name Performance Artist?

UNH has Akon, Umass got Jay-Z (wtf), QU got Thirdeyeblind... Keene State has some Asher Roth rumors floating around it... (on one of my buddies facebook status' from a kid I don't know... but still)

U Maine, Get Yo Fuckin' Shit Together. Dierks Bentley (i still don't even know who this moron is) is not going to cut it. We need a big name show to come here. OAR is nice, we should have shows like OAR and Dropkick Murphys at least twice a year... but on top of those we need at least one big name show a year... hell UNH had Lupe Fiasco last year... (btw i linked to an older Lupe song simply because it had Jill Scott in it, and her voice is OFF THE CHAIN!!!! and i'd even settle for her as a big name at this point, jeeeesus umaine get yo dick right)

Where you AT, The New Hampshirite?
-Normally he's tearing up shit on UNH grounds on the weekends in his quest to take UNH back to the top of the Nations party school lists... however this friday he will be here with another UNH buddy of his to party at my house. I know he has plans to make a damn fine post out of it, probably generate some hilarious photos.

Where you AT, Bo Burham?
-Answer... he's writing a musical or some shit like that... but he still has epic videos on his youtube and he's touring colleges I think... i'll leave Awesome Thursday with this song about the perfect women... hellen keller

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Title says it all.
This post is being presented to you via SHITTTY MODE

I am watching my sitemeter, and I realize that I am getting the NEW HAMPSHIRITE BUMP, much similar to the bump that the New Hampshirite got from his stupid school (UNH, FAGGOTS) newspaper TNH. Also much similar to the "colbert bump".

I figure I'll share a few stories to entertain you new visitors... mostly UNH dick suckers... it's okay though, I'm not judging you for sucking dick.... faggots...
I mean.. hell even I and Bob Saggot "suck dick for coke"

Alright so a story.... okay here's one that I actually heard from a kid at UNH when I visited last weekend.... briefly

basically he was drunk as FUUUUCK and he was texting a buddy trying to get him and some of his friends to come to a crazy ass party in his pad at the GABLES (oh yeah i know my UNH shiiit) and so basically must have been feeling pretty drunk and stupid and said to the kid via text "ya'll nigga's betta' let us in the club before ya'll nigga's catch a slug" .... that was it... he didn't know he did it till he read his messages the next morning... all people in this story are white... it's a shame... please black people do not get mad about this.. they are lyrics from a song (though i'm sure you all know that already) idk what song and i'm not gonna' google it, i'm taking my buddies word for it because i know he's not a racist and he loves black people... or at least tolerates them... (yeah i guess he's just an aquantance, please don't beat me up)

anywho.... here's another story of some FUUUUCKED up UMAINE shit... this story is mad nutzz...

basically two weekends ago this kid (who i later found out is the son of one of my professors at school) was drunk, and smoking mary J, which he had done a million times before (yet he's still just in highschoool, a senior) had something happen and he started flipping out and seeing shit, all of a sudden he was seeing "evil" in his friends and was trying to perform exorcisms on them.... he got a sword, full length, like the samurai sword type shit .... and started chasing his best friend since birth around all of maine... this kid then called a friend of mine to request a Drunk Driver pickup, and to meet him at a gas station, claiming it was urgent and no time to explain, just do it... no questions asked.

so my friend goes to get him... he comes running out of the gas station yelling "duuuuude i got this gas station boritto it's mad bomb!!!!! love this diahrrea shit!" and then my buddy asks, "so why did you need a DD, can't you walk home"
and he goes "naw this kid is chasing me all over town with a sword i was afraid to go outside"

well a weekend later i was hanging out at a party and there are two local highschool kids there... and they start telling me about how last weekend they had this big thing where one of them was trying to exorcise the other... and it was an awesome connection we were able to make when i said "oh shit, i think my friend was the one who DD'ed for you"

and i'm prettttty gone right now but there were mad funny things being sad between the kid with the sword and his best buddy, he was really trying to kill him that night and they said some ridiculous shit to each other.....

the moral of the story is.... don't try to perform exorcisms or chase your buddy with a fulll length sword...

You just GOTTA love wednesdays...

thanks to the new hampshirite for the shout out... faggot. also, i look forward to you being here friday and getting WICKED shitttty and getting in troube with me, hopefully we'll both make posts out of it... i think you readers will be thankful for our friendship... the new hampshirite is one of the nicest most geniune friends I've ever known, he really does have a great handle on the whole concept of life and what it means to him and his creative mind will be taking him places he could never imagine so you all need to please continue to read and comment on his blog HERE

And I'll leave you with my most BALLIN' picture of the week.... it's of me... Matching my sox, to my shorts,TO MY BOXERBRIEFS, to my BOTTLE OF MOTHER FUCKIN GREY GOOSE VODKA!!!! on a mother fucking wednesday night!!!! yeeeeeee!!!! enjoy that shiiiiiiiit! BTW i do have a six pack if anyone wants a full chest pic ;-) btw please i need at least 3 comments on this post or i'm going to kill the new hampshirite when he gets here friday... sooo save his life and comment. thanks UNH faggots